What New Year's Eve Means to Me

While people are getting dressed to hit their celebration destinations, New Year's Eve has a slightly different tone for me. I eagerly await the turn of the year, like most, but 17 years ago today, I preached my first sermon in South Carolina. It's amazing, as I think about it now, because when I took my place behind that sacred desk, in a polo shirt and slacks, I wasn't sure I really wanted to walk this way, but I knew I was called by God. It was an awkward position, but I was obedient to God and my watchcare pastor. It was the longest 12 minutes of my life (and probably the second-worst sermon I've preached to-date), but God, as always, was faithful.

I still wonder what God sees in me, that He allows me to walk this way: to teach, preach, prophesy, and lead. I never asked for any of it (not did/do I deserve it), but yet He empowers me to do so daily.

I think about how sat me under the appropriate leader for every step of my journey. I thank God for them continually, because like God, they never gave up on me (even when I gave up on myself).

I celebrate this 17 years, not because I'm so excellent and awesome, but because God is. He's supplied me with a great support system that won't let me throw in the towel, parents that support my growth, siblings that push me, and a son that reminds me what it means to love as the Creator loves.

It's funny, I still have that same nervousness today as I did 17 years ago. I still can't eat before preaching without getting sick, I still second-guess God's message and panic, but most importantly, I get excited to share God's message to anyone who will listen.

Happy preacherversary to me!

An Incredible Season in My Life

It had to happen this way (and I’m still struggling to be okay with it). I knew when I first got to FBC that I would be for a short time (Pastor T even told me from the beginning). I had a lot to learn and needed an environment where it was okay to be myself, to heal, and to refocus on life, ministry, and life in ministry. The nearly-six-years I spent on Chelsea Drive were some of my best in a 16-year life in ministry. I figured my next move would be to start a church. Never did I imagine I’d make a u-turn (still trying to rationalize it in my mind, but God knows).

Many who don’t know would see my time at FBC was “running,” or “hiding,” or some other silly description. I had specific needs at the time and in retrospect, I was a danger to myself and to that particular ministry. I couldn’t stay put and poison the environment my dad (and Pastor) worked so hard to build and grow. I had to go. Thankfully, in my going, I met my now-former Pastor, Pastor T (aka: my Stepfather in the Gospel).

Pastor T was exactly what my personality, approach to ministry, and mindset needed. He knew how to “coach me up” and refused to let me quit, despite a few stumbles along the way. He poured into me a tremendous amount of knowledge, understanding, and unlocked depths within me that I didn’t know existed. Most importantly, he prayed for me. He fostered my gifts and constantly encouraged me to develop and share them. He also instilled in me that being “saved” wasn’t being perfect, but knowing that I’ve been forgiven and purposed for greater.

My time at FBC didn’t just start and end with Pastor T – there was support all around. I had the opportunity to match wits, discuss, debate, and improve along some of the brilliant ministerial minds I’ve known. All different walks of life, different stages of their journeys, all under one roof. It was a challenge at times, but I became better for it all. I made some genuine friends along this leg of my journey and I’m thankful to God each day for each of them. I think we’ve shed enough tears together to fill a few buckets – but if you can’t cry with your brothers, sisters, aunts, and  uncles, who can you cry with?

When I got to FBC, I was already 10 years into ministry (including my start in South Carolina and my dad’s church in KC) and didn’t realize I hadn’t even scratched the surface. It was a humbling transition, but a necessary one. Each person I came into contact with added something valuable to my Christian experience that I can take to the next leg of the journey.

I preached my last sermon as a member of FBC on February 21, 2016. It was a bittersweet day. I was emotionally, spiritually, and physically drained. I didn’t preach for the applause, the back-pats, or the adulation. I preached for God’s glory. One person came as a candidate for baptism and my heart was made glad. I told only a handful of people of my departure (aside from my Pastor) at that point. I didn’t want a fuss or an uproar. I came to The Ship quietly and wanted to leave the same way. I’ve never been an attention-seeker, so it would’ve just been awkward.

I will miss the Friendship Baptist Church family. You all have been a positive force in my life and I love you all for it. You all helped me rediscover the beauty of Christian ministry and restored my joy in spreading the Gospel message. Continue to pray for Pastor T and his family. Continue to keep his hands raised. Continue to reach souls with Jesus and may God continue to bless you all.

Rev. M. A. Brown